I titled this post this way because I wish I had sought help sooner. When I was younger.
I truly believe I’d be in a better place now if I had.

That said, after many years of therapy — and still continuing it — I’ve become more self-aware. I’ve gotten better at checking in with my anxiety. But it’s still hard. Healing is not linear.

Through therapy, I’ve realized that many of the things I experienced as a child were tied to anxiety. And where did that anxiety come from?
Childhood trauma. (More on that some other time.)

Here’s just one example:
My parents divorced when I was five, and their dynamic was toxic. I went to school on the other side of town, and on Fridays, my dad was in charge of taking us. He was almost always late.

It made me incredibly nervous — not just because I was a “good girl” who followed the rules, but because my school was strict about punctuality. Every time we showed up late, I would vomit in the parking lot.

At first, I thought it was the milk I had with breakfast — maybe I was lactose intolerant? But years later, I realized: it wasn’t the milk. It was anxiety.
I continued vomiting when I felt deeply worried about things, even as I got older.

That’s why I’m sharing this. I hated that feeling. The tight pain in my stomach. The pounding heart. The racing thoughts.
And I lived with that for decades.

Even now, some of those symptoms still show up — but not nearly as often. I don’t vomit anymore, so hey — that’s an improvement. My mental state is better now because of:

• Therapy
• Self-awareness
• A support system that gets it

If you want a better quality of life, I say:
Start with you.
Get the help.
Find your peace.

You don’t have to wait until it gets unbearable.
You don’t have to carry it alone.