when celebrating can be great and rough at the same time…

This post is for the families who experience this time of year as bittersweet. Or maybe it’s just me…

I am so grateful for the gifts my son received and the smiles exchanged between him and our family members. Every year around this time, I can see how much progress he’s made. And yet, sometimes I find myself wondering—does he understand what’s happening?

He knows family is getting together. He knows there’s laughter, celebration, and lots of pictures (or at least the best ones we can manage). But to him, it may just feel like a regular day.

My cousin, whose daughter is also on the spectrum, sent me a message sharing that her daughter not understanding the concept of the holidays made her sad. And I understood that feeling completely. It’s hard when your nonverbal child can’t articulate what the holidays mean—or if they mean anything at all. But that message also helped put things into perspective for me.

It made me realize that optimism is key during these moments—and that sometimes we attach meaning to things that we don’t necessarily need to. I replied to my cousin letting her know I hear her. But then I asked: What if for her daughter and for my son, Christmas isn’t just one day?

What if the fact that they are always surrounded by family, always celebrated, always loved means that many days feel like holidays to them? What if we’re the ones putting a name on the day, and for them, that label doesn’t matter—because they’re still happy?

Remembering what I shared with my cousin while celebrating the holidays myself brought me peace. It made me grateful for our family, and for my son. Because for him, many days may feel like holidays—and for that, I am deeply grateful.

I hope there were many moments of joy—during the holidays or on ordinary days—for families raising kiddos with special needs.